Sooooo I get that this is a hard concept to understand. That’s why I’ve decided to explore it. But before I get into it all, I think it needs to be said that this is a working concept for me. I haven’t completely grasped it and I’m not sure when I will. All in all, bear with me chickadees.
About a month ago, life started hitting me harder and harder to the point where it began to hurt. I tend to bottle up how I feel because I don’t like being vulnerable. We must cry every once in a while but feeling weak is not my strong point whatsoever. I’m a VERY independent person… so much that there are not enough text features to emphasize it. This is the thing that slams me like a brick wall is that I am not in control. That’s one of the biggest things about us humans: we think we’re in control (guilty as charged).
A couple months ago my youth pastor said something that completely obliterated what I’ve been told over and over again… People say that God won’t give any card that you can’t deal but that’s a ginormous lie. God will give you more than you can handle so that you realize that you can’t handle it all on your own. Being the stubborn little lady that I am, I often need a huge wake-up call with that message written all over it. Sometimes God’ll hit me with a curve ball to make me open my eyes a bit wider. Proverbs 3:5-12 (MSG) says, “Do not sulk under His loving correction.” I believe that this is referring to the fact that sometimes His loving correction comes in forms that we don’t want it to, including a curve ball. “Sometimes God lets the storm rage and calms His child” (unknown). This storm makes us cling onto the only truly stable thing in our lives. Proverbs says, “His *loving* correction,” for a reason. It is good correction no matter how it physically feels. “The most reliable way to forecast the future is to understand the present” (unknown)… It’s the wake-up call.
The wake-up call allows us to do something monstrously beautiful, if we choose to let it. Proverbs 2:2 (ESV) asks us to incline our hearts to understanding, to call out with attentive ears to knowledge, and (my personal favorite part) to tune our ears to the world of Wisdom. Now don’t even try to tell me that last part doesn’t give you absolute chills. That there is the point of this call. Tune your ears to the world of Wisdom (Proverbs 2:6) “for the Lord gives wisdom.” He freely gives it if you are apt to hear. Fun fact: “The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent” (unknown). He will speak the greatest kind of peace into your heart and you will grow a new heart and a new set of eyes if you simply listen. It will be pure beauty…
So how exactly do we do this? Let’s be honest, we’ve all had those downer days when we just ask God, “Heeeelllllooooooo? Anybody there???” It takes a still mind to have a still heart. You must make yourself follow His will until you realize how badly you need to. I had to force myself to finally getting around to starting devotions and even then, there’s days where I just feel too lazy to do it (praise God for accountability partners). But opening your eyes to His Word is one of the most important things you can do. Understanding what He has said can help you understand what He will say. Once again, to forecast the future you must understand the present. Read into that little work in front of you. The bible is the key and the lock is the relationship. To maintain a relationship, you must have communication. To communicate you must speak with an honest, earnest heart. You don’t have to pray any fancy words. In fact, you don’t have to say anything at all. He’s your best friend, your Father, your confidant. Allow Him to simply understand your heart song. He already knows. Choosing to be in the moment with Him speaks loud enough. Regardless of how many times you feel like you’re talking to a brick wall, keep at it because eventually, it will incline your heart to understand. You’ll be calling out to knowledge but remember to just listen. No response is an answer, too. Don’t ignore Him when something happens that you don’t like and turn around and say that He hasn’t answered you. He knows best. Allow yourself to stay down with Him. Allow yourself to be vulnerable when necessary. Allow Him to protect you. The key of knowledge and the lock of understanding work together to open the door to pure freedom; freedom of sleepless nights, of reckless nightmares, of endless thoughts that are eating you alive, freedom of whatever binds you in shackles of complete and utter fear. Don’t you want that? This wake-up call can either hurt you or heal you; so which do you prefer?
Be still. Be silent. Listen. Let Him be heard.
10|23|15 : ash
A few months ago, I was told that this Earth should never feel like “home sweet home.” At first it took me by surprise & it felt as though it was one of those things that I may never get the gist of. In an odd way, it made sense to me. I moved to Florida 9 years ago; however, I’ve always traveled back & fourth between Florida & Atlanta (my birth place.) Florida still does not feel like my home. Whether it be where I’m located or what friend group I hang out with, I’ve never been completely capable of feeling like I belong. After a lot of thought, I finally understood. Nothing in or of this Earth belongs to me because this place is not & never will be my home. A mission trip I recently returned from showed me exactly how that feels. This feeling of not belonging doesn’t make you want to fit in. It doesn’t make you yearn to find a place in the world. What I speak of means that I am a foreigner of this world. It is pure freedom. I won’t be home until my purpose is fulfilled. I will thirst everyday for something more. I will starve for the rest of my life here on Earth. I want to be with my Father more than anything I’ve ever wanted. But for now, I must travel, I must spread the news, & I must help Him save those whom are searching for a hero. Heaven is my home & I will return there when He calls upon my name. Until then, I will repeat this everyday of my life, “Here I am, God. Send me.”
08|01|15 : ash